Friday, July 07, 2006

Faith-O-Meter 9000

I'm pleased to announce my latest invention, the Faith-O-Meter 9000!

"What does this amazing piece of technology do?" I'm so glad you asked. This new device is a special hybrid of science and spirituality that is the result of years of painstaking research by a team of special faith scientists, or as we like to call them "faithitists". With this innovative tool you can instantly determine whether or not you or your loved ones have enough faith to move the hand of God on your behalf. That's right, no more guessing about whether your prayers will be answered, just simply use the Faith-O-Meter 9000 to determine your current faith level and pray away!

Have you ever wanted to pray for sick loved ones? Ask God for that promotion? Need help getting out of a financial jam? Walk on water? Well, now you can! It's all possible with this revolutionary tool that will allow you to change your thinking about faith and how best to convince God to do miracles for you!

Here's how it works. Simply adjust the main dial to the category of prayer you wish to be answered and then point the sensor at yourself or loved one to gauge their current faith level. In what takes just a few microseconds, the display on the Faith-O-Meter 9000 will tell you whether or not that person indeed has enough faith to receive an answer to prayer. It's that simple! What's more, if it indicates that there is insufficient faith for a positive outcome, it will indicate how many hours of prayer and/or fasting will be required to bring up your level of faith to the needed level. (In some cases it may indicate special measures such as meeting with an intercessor team or attending a faith conference.) It also includes a handy chart for converting prayer hours to days of fasting for your convenience! As if that wasn't enough, we also include a database of approved foods and liquids that are not considered "cheating" when fasting.


I used the Faith-O-Meter 9000 to help me find a new job, when I got fired from the last two jobs! Thanks! - Sally

I've already used the FOM9k to help me get a new car, and I'm only a few fast days away from getting that boat! - Joe

When my dog got sick, instead of taking him to the vet I used the FOM9k and after a few weeks he was back to normal and stopped puking all over the floor! Praise God! - Velma

The Faith-O-Meter 9000 can be yours for a charitable donation (to our not-quite-nonprofit organization) of only $199.99!!! Order yours today and watch the miracles come rolling in.

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